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Category Archives: This Just In

Hot off the press, I-just-have-to-tell-you-this, kind of stuff.

New Start

I haven’t blogged in two months because we suddenly moved out of Oklahoma.

After three months of my husband and I being unemployed, we decided to take up his parents on their offer for us to live in their basement. Though it is hard to believe, we have been here now for a month. We are both now employed and filled with new hope, like seeing the sun coming out after the rain.

I cannot say how thankful I am that when we were at our lowest, we had so many friends and family that supported us emotionally and financially. I believe that God has brought us to this new town and has filled us with peace about our changed plans. I thank Him that while we didn’t have health insurance, neither of us got sick. We have been taken care of every step of the way, just like the song “Never Once” says:

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful!  God, You are faithful.

Listen to it here.

Be encouraged, friend. You will pull through this.

 
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Posted by on August 2, 2014 in This Just In

 

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Two Week Break

I promised I would blog for 30 days straight. And today is day 20. But I am off to have adventures, so I will be back on here in 2 weeks. 

Why will I be so busy, you ask? 

In about an hour, I am going to the other side of the city to officiate a wedding for the first time. 

And tomorrow I am flying to Ohio to lead worship for a teen camp for a week.

While I am there, I will get to see my grandma who is going through radiation- and chemo-therapy. 

And play with my parents’ puppy, Sebastian, who was just learning to romp around when I saw him last Christmas.

And hug my father, mother, and brother.

 

Until then, may the God of peace be with you.

–The Mrs. 

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2014 in This Just In

 

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How To Deal With A Panic Attack

Pirates of Penzance

For one performance of my university’s rendition of Pirates of Penzance, I played a manly pirate.

Now, I know that the phrase “have a panic attack” is a regular saying in American culture. People use the phrase to express an experience of sudden worrying, where they were like, “OH NO!!” And it is something people laugh about later.

But for people with anxiety problems, having an actual panic attack is nothing to take lightly.

What does a panic attack look like?

WebMD.com lists some of the side affects of having a panic attack.

  • “Racing” heart
  • Feeling weak, faint, or dizzy
  • Tingling or numbness in the hands and fingers
  • Sense of terror, or impending doom or death
  • Feeling sweaty or having chills
  • Chest pains
  • Breathing difficulties
  • Feeling a loss of control

I have a panic disorder, which means I am prone to these kinds of things.

They usually happen this way:

1. I am alone.

2. I am thinking about all sorts of things.

3. Something happens that makes me afraid and/or triggers one of my worst fears.

4. My mind cannot help but go down the worst possible outcome of that fear.

5. I think one of the following: “I’M GOING TO DIE!” “I MUST HAVE CANCER!” “I’M GOING BLIND!” “I’M GOING TO GET RAPED!” “THIS STICKSHIFT CAR IS GOING TO ROLL INTO ANOTHER CAR AS SOON AS I TAKE MY FOOT OFF THE BRAKES!!,” because apparently, those are my worst fears. And they are all equally scary in my mind when it comes to having an attack.

At this point, I’m exhibiting most of those lovely symptoms listed above. But the worst part is, I can’t talk myself down. I can’t distract myself or get myself to think about happier thoughts. All I can think about is how horrible it will be when this fear comes true (as it obviously is immediately coming true). I feel paralyzed. And I’m usually close to weeping by this point.

In a nutshell, a panic attack is what happens when you worry about something and your brain’s ability to cope with the idea shuts down. Your ability to rationally deal with it breaks.Your fear center overreacts. And that can be super scary.

Are you one of the unfortunate people who know what I’m going through?

If you have a panic attack, this is what I would advise you to do (only because it has helped me):

1. Try to slow down your breathing. Focus on the sound of your own breathing–make it nice and even.

2. Stop being alone. Find a friend. Find a family member. Heck, go knock on your neighbor’s door (that is how I made friends with the girl whose wedding I’m officiating next week). Be with someone. Explain to them that you need to talk out your fears. I always appreciate hugs.

3. Talk it out. If you feel brave, tell them what triggered the attack and why it scared you.

4. Bravely answer the question, “what if it were true?” and make an action plan in case that worst case senario would actually happen.

5. Remind yourself that you may have freaked out over nothing. Just maybe.

6. After ten minutes, you will be shaken, but recovered. Eat something and tell yourself it was just a bad dream.

7. Go talk to your doctor about it. I started taking medicine for my panic disorder and it has really helped me.

 The important thing to remember is this: You will feel very afraid. But actually, you are one of the bravest people I know. Because you face your fears.

And panic attacks help you understand when other people are afraid. They teach you to take action against being trapped by fear.

Panic attacks remind you that your fears are lies and that you are not powerless.

You can do something.

You can hold on to the truth: you are loved by God and nothing can destroy you when you are in His hands.

 

Have you ever had a panic attack? Were yours ever like mine?

 

 

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2014 in This Just In

 

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Seminary Scholarship…from Logos Bible Software

Going to Seminary is expensive. On top of that, finding a scholarship can be really difficult. That’s why I was so excited to find this Seminary Scholarship website today. Not only are they giving away a $1,000.00 scholarship and a digital theological library, all I had to do to apply was watch a short video and answer a few questions! It took less than 15 minutes. What is best of all is that if you’re in seminary and apply for the Seminary Scholarship, and put my name as the person who referred you, if you win the scholarship, so do I! We could both get a $1,000.00 scholarship and digital theological library. So, do us both a favor and go apply for the Seminary Scholarship today.

 

Okay, so I know that looks like spam. But it is what they suggested I say to spread the word about this seminary scholarship. The whole application took me like 2 minutes. Probably the quickest scholarship app I have filled out in years. So, if you are a seminarian, you can afford to take 2 minutes out of your very busy life for this.

 
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Posted by on May 9, 2014 in This Just In

 

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Yep. Still alive. I have a degree now!

I’m really sorry that I have not written here for so long. But I am glad to start again.

That is the wonderful thing about blogs; they always take you back without asking why it has been so long.

And why has it been so long? Well, I was finishing college and getting used to married life.

Now I am mostly settled in and trying to figure out what comes next. I am supposed to start seminary this fall (which terrifies me!!). Plus, I have been officially put in the books as a (volunteer) part-time associate pastor at my church. It means I get experience, and it means that the time clock starts ticking as I work towards getting ordained as a Nazarene pastor.

Have I mentioned that I’m a pastor? I sometimes forget what I have told you people. Let me tell you, being a pastor snuck up on me slowly. And where did it start? Perhaps when I switched to being a Theology/Ministry major. Or maybe when I was a teenager learning chords on the piano and helping with youth group worship…or maybe as my parents taught me how to volunteer at church as a kid. Not sure. One my friends once told me, “Sometimes you don’t know what your calling is until you are six feet deep in it.” Wise words, for a 16-year old.

So, in the meantime of figuring things out, I have been learning to cook and bake. A lot. And posting pictures to my facebook for friends to drool over. Today it was loaded baked potato soup and pretzels with honey. I might turn this into a cooking blog–I’m warning you now, so if my handful of readers want to object, tell me now.  🙂

I’m back because I haven’t been journaling for months. And I need to put thoughts somewhere. Lucky you.

In the next posts, I will probably bring up my grandma’s cancer report (that I am anxiously waiting for), marriage thoughts, Lent thoughts, calling stuff, etc.

–The Mrs.

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2014 in This Just In

 

And I’m back in school

So, I mostly recovered from whatever the heck I have. Had a colonoscopy in May (a week before my sister’s wedding) and the doctor decided I DON’T have Crohn’s disease. Maybe just Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I suspect that it is a hyperactive thyroid, but I’m going to wait to test that theory until Christmas break. It is mostly triggered by stress, so as long as I get enough sleep and stay away from too much caffeine, I do fine.

I got engaged.

To the only man I’ve ever dated. Who lives in another state. Crazy, I know. He flew from Kansas to Ohio to propose to me in a garden in the city. Have you ever gone with a friend to a cafe, only to arrive and find that it is a garden, your friend has disappeared, and after following clues all over the topiary garden, that your one true love has a question for you? It’s a bit disorientingly wonderful.

He and I have a lot to learn about understanding each other. But we are on the right track. We start premarital counseling in a few weeks. Wedding in T minus 8 months.

And I’m a senior intern at my church, leading a team of young adults in leading the youth group, because we have no official youth pastor. I preach one week and help lead worship the other. And it is an amazing experience.

I live in a tiny apartment with a friend on campus. And last night we discovered that we have a mouse living in our kitchen/living room. I made the mistake of naming him. Apparently my roommate thinks this was not a good idea. So Alfred is going to have to die, as soon as we can catch him.

Did you know that I’m writing this post because I’m avoiding homework? In class we are reading George Lindbeck’s famous book The Nature of Doctrine: Religion and Theology in a Postliberal Age. My Systemmatic Theology professor told us to write a paper on the three most common ways of looking at the world doctrinally: cognitive/propositional, experiential/expressive, and cultural/linguistic; pick one; and talk about the pros and cons of it. The problem is that I don’t have 1200 words worth of talking about it. Sigh. The problem of a college student: to write BS to make length requirements or stay up another hour trying to think of actual good stuff to add to the paper.

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2012 in This Just In

 

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And then, things changed.

That stomach virus turned out to be more than just a virus. There was something wrong with my colon.

So two days before I was supposed to fly, my mother and I decided that I should not go to Uganda.

Here I am, still typing on my couch like I was last week, waiting for the tests to come back and tell us what kind of sickness I have.

I am strangely at peace with the whole thing. It was after midnight, after I threw up what little bit of PB&J I could get down for dinner, that she asked me, “How am I supposed to let you fly thousands of miles away with this sickness?” And the reality of the situation sunk in. So we prayed. And I knew it was okay. Even though all of my plans for the next 4 months just got wiped away like a dirty countertop. Not going to lie, following one of my peer’s blogs from the program instead of writing one is not what I expected. But I’m inclined to see this as a last-minute act of God, keeping me from going for some reason.

Now we are trying to get me back into school, which starts next week. That is, if I am well by then. And there are costs that still must be paid at this point, whether or not I go on the Uganda trip. Sigh. But I am content.

And I am loved, judging by the 40 or so people who have asked after me, said they were praying for me, and sent me notes of encouragement on Facebook. Thank you.

 
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Posted by on January 6, 2012 in This Just In

 

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